that have popped into my head during my waking moments. I have quite a lot of them so yeah.
- Chanced upon a facebook profile of an acquaintance from primary school. Had the sudden premonition (if I could call it that because it probably won’t come true) that our paths will soon cross again.
- I miss my overseas friends like crazy. And in this short period of time Pinning is gone, I have not been making an effort to go swim alone even though I know I should and I could. I just am not. I realised today that I potentially wasted a good weather to swim in without getting excessively tanned because I wanted to marathon my shows which have come on again. And kon, who’s out there bungee jumping and doing stuff that I probably want to do but can’t do yet and next semester, it’ll be Mabelyn’s turn to go on exchange.
- Swaying between having faith and not having any in relationships. Tis be the season of breakups. Just had another friend who broke up after 5 long years. How is it that all these time spent together can be discounted just like that? Also (I concede not all men are idiots):
Men are Fools-WW
- Ridiculous recurring thought: I want to be someone who is loved by everyone. I recognise the impossibility of it. But still, it would be nice to be more loved.
- Another recurring thought: I foresee a very average life ahead of me. It’s like my life will be smooth without too much ups and downs; I’ll graduate, work and then live my life. Most likely end to my story is as the cranky old lady in the corner flat with a bazillion adopted stray cats.
- Migrating to England which I actually shared aloud with Mabelyn who was pretty horrified that I didn’t want to stay. It’s ok because I’m the only child so I’m free to walk when my parents are gone. And also because my friends will most likely have their own families so I’m free to go. Talking to Sihua has also made me realise that yes, I am actually and will be fine by my own. I am perfectly capable of being independent even though it must be pretty tiring.
- I can’t deal with people who talk to me in unexpected ways such as they are constantly flippant but it’s not in a condescending manner or anything. They just are. It’s disturbing; I don’t know where to draw the lines and I have the inability to filter myself. And I also believe in reflecting a person’s attitude back to them so I do the same. Obviously it doesn’t always pay off. I also push people away when they get too comfortable with me too fast. Hello, you’re supposed to be vaguely scared of me so sod off. I am also incapable of making new friends with people who have more mood swings than I do. HOW ELSE CAN YOU DEAL WITH MINE OR WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE SWING AT THE SAME TIME?!?!!?!??!!?!??! Or people who aren’t honest with their emotions. There is nothing to hide ok!!!!!
- Feeling vaguely like I’m not contributing enough to my projects in general. Had a project mate edit the report and cut out multiple parts which I wasn’t able to which made me feel shitty about myself. I also have no idea what’s going on for my Finance project. Vaguely panicky about all these and also slightly worried that PD will flop cause I’m not good enough.
- Horoscopes are of vague importance in friendships. Recently asked a few people their signs and I do indeed have a subconscious inclination to Water and Earth signs. I feel slightly more grounded, realistic and down-to-earth occasionally but I still have people to go to when I have my mood swings.
- Wondering what I would like to be in my next life? A pet (a cat/dog) enjoying continuous pettings and cuddling? A koala? A sloth? Or a plant? A fish or maybe even a jellyfish…something aquatic maybe stingrays. They just flap flap flap and float around, keeping that same face and generally being without a care in the world except humans are going to eat them with sambal chili. I mean…other than that it’s not too bad?
Yes well, back to school and work.
cloudcomet 