没有了你

日子照过

没有了你

原来没有少了什么。

 

 

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An ambivalent sort of day

One that makes me go like this:

The moments that made me go:

1. Doing my Indian Rangoli art

Rangoli

Note: The above is a still image and will not move.

It was really fun even though I look like I’ve Hulk’s hands after. I started this Art module not daring to expect too much since not many people took it for the sake of the major but as a way to clear elective etc etc but I got shuffled into a group that was wonderful and actually dedicated themselves to the projects. It’s even more surprising when the group consists of 3 seniors and 2 exchange students. They could totally not bother and put in minimal effort but they did whatever they could.

2. Doing well for my Comms essay quiz that I was so sure I would fail because my head was pounding during the whole time and all I wanted to do was to eat a Panadol and conk out.

Yes. CLAP FOR ME.

3. Completing my Arts essay

Self explanatory. But I still have to elaborate. I’m truly starting to think that all my essays have a small tiny piece of my soul because trying to write them is really…soul sucking. And also when I write my essays, the entire world just knows because I go around asking for ideas and opinions and final editing. You, my friends, deserve a tiny piece of my graduate certificate as well for all your contributions. This essay merits special attention because it feels like I’m going back to my lit roots and analysing a poem etc all over again and I get to write about issues I feel for. #iloveit

4. Being praised for my Chinese and my Chinese enunciation by an exchange student from Beijing.

Do you know the significance of being praised by someone who is obviously infinitely more proficient than you are in a language?????????????

But alas, a day cannot be perfect despite me being able to wake at 12pm.

There were also moments that made me feel like this:

and

1. Receiving a dinner invitation via text with 2 people I no longer want to be associated with

Seriously? Who do you think I am? Somebody you can just text and ask out on a motherfucking whim after ignoring me? Because i have to be OK when you are? Has it not occurred to you that when you’re OK, I’ve already moved the fuck on? Why the fuck do you think I can be won over by a fucking dinner? Why do you think you can just fucking waltz back into my life like nothing has happened and nothing was ever wrong?

You’re just crazy if you think my friendship is so cheap.

You’re wrong if you think I’ll be at your fucking beck and call.

Just because you have time doesn’t mean that I do and just because you have no friends doesn’t mean that I don’t.

So fuck you.