This later half of 2015

hasn’t been very kind to my friends. That’s what I think. I am constantly reminded to spend more time with family, friends and other loved ones.

Today I received news about a friend whom has also been on my mind recently. He had gone completely off grid since last semester and left multiple messages unanswered.

People are often surprised to know that my Bondue group still keeps in touch with each other or at least some of us do. But that’s how it is: you gain some new friends while some older ones get left behind. Perhaps cause I hated FTB and was heavily reliant upon Bondue to provide a foundation for a new social circle in university.

I’m mildly surprised by how long it took for the news to fully sink in and the repeated texting of the same phrase It’s unbelievable. Because it is. Because why would cancer strike someone so young when youth is supposed to be this cloak of invincibility that wards against illnesses/evils/whatever. Aren’t the odds supposed to fall on the side of youths?

I keep thinking how we were supposed to graduate together, attend the same Commencement ceremony, take photos and compare to them to those taken a couple of semesters ago, laugh at our past selves, laugh at how we were overly enthusiastic at certain games. And I recall how damned hard you studied because that’s SMU for us all. Competitive as fuck especially for finance etc. But you were always modest about your own achievements. I recall you skating down at the T-Junc because the skating team would appear like clockwork every week and you would be there. I remember that you’re the only person who shares the same Chinese character as mine in your name. I know for a fact that you were never too busy to stop and take time out for a quick chat. I still have photos that you shared with us of your Europe trip. So how can it be that you’re gone?

The worst part is that all these don’t feel sufficient. That we didn’t stay in touch often as we should have. That we didn’t know until it was too late and knowing that a part of this is also selfish because you probably didn’t want to worry people.

I just don’t understand why this happened to you.




Please don’t feel the need to text me about this because there’s really nothing to say.